Church People

I’m still pissed about the church people. As my friend Susan said last night, “You can be faithful without church. You can pray anywhere. You go to church for the community and support.” True, true and you know what? On day one, the Pastor’s wife wrote on my Facebook, “Praying, praying” and yet yesterday when she sent the fucking Sunday School lesson “extras,” she made no mention. I wrote back to her and my co-teacher and said, “Since my mom’s been in the hospital since last Thursday, I’d really appreciate it Brian if you could take care of planning…” and he wrote back immediately and was concerned and said no problem and that he could get a substitute, etc. if I didn’t want to/was unable to go.

THEN the Pastor’s wife wrote back, “I’ve been keeping up with your Facebook and have been praying – was the stroke severe?” and then I told her that yes, it was and gave a (very) brief recap and she wrote back, “Your church family is here for you!” Oh REALLY? The Pastor is a young guy – 36 – he uses Facebook, email, etc. He sends out e-communications weekly. Have *I* gotten an email from him? A phone call? No. I am in the fucking directory; all you have to do is look up my name and you have all the info you need. I TALKED to a couple at Sophie’s T-ball last Thursday when the stroke happened and I’ve heard nothing else from them. I have been going to this church for over a year; I have shown up faithfully every fucking Sunday. I have done Bible Study and taught Sunday School and during Easter week when they had an event every night and on EASTER SUNDAY, I was not there and what? Nobody wanted to know? People, my church is SMALL. We’re not talking a congregation of THOUSANDS like Saddleback church in California. My church has maybe 100 people and the Pastor knows each person by name. He knows if they are old and live alone; if their spouse is in the hospital; if they are a single parent; if the kids play t-ball or soccer, etc. DO YOU GET WHAT I’M SAYING??

Honestly, I’m so pissed I am not sure I ever want to go back.

I have had offers from everyone else – people at work with three kids at home to cook for, shuttle between sports – people who live FORTY MINUTES AWAY from me who I KNOW if I said, “I need you to go to the grocery store for me,” they would do it IN A HEARTBEAT. And yet, the people RIGHT DOWN THE STREET have not offered to do shit. My town is not big. I’m not saying I’m special people. I’m not saying that I’ve had the only crisis. I’m not saying that I’m the “star” of the church and that people should be missing me when I’m not there, but there are people who show up faithfully and I am one of them. Maybe I am saying that actually. I don’t mean to though. I am just disappointed but then again I have always had high expectations.

I know that if I show up on Sunday, everyone will be hugging me and “oh how is your mom” and “what can I do” but I want to know where they’ve been UP TIL NOW. Sunday will be Day what? Day 11.

What say you? Give them a chance? Or write them off forever?